In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - first anniversary of her death

Today, I remember Marina's death one year ago. This evening, I've visited again her grave at Ruhleben Cemetery, Berlin, Germany. And as usual, I decorated the grave with a fresh single "wild" rose (liked by Marina trought the years of our relationship).

After Marina's death my father (who lost his mother some years ago) told me: The first year of mourning would be the hardest. This first year is over now. And I can tell you: Marina was in my mind everyday.

Marina died between 17:00 and 18:00 in finally cause of kidney failure. About 19:20 I got the awaited phone call from her kind female doctor: She has gone to rest (she has passed away).

I changed my clothing to "all in black" and took the next subway to station Rüdesheimer Platz. The doctor was waiting for me. She asked me: Do you are capable of doing this? I answerred: Yes! Together we entered Marina's appartment. Her body was still lying on the brand-new care bed, just delivered some days ago to ease some of her suffering. Marina's hands were could, her arms were cool, but her neck was still warm. I hugged her body and kissed her forehead, cheeks and her mouth. At that moment, I was ready to meet the death body of a loved-one for first time in my life.

Later, the undertakers showed up. And Marina's body was stowed in a black plastic bag. That was horrible! I followed the black car, hammering against the window and crying "By, by, Marina". It was the sadest day in my life.

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - Celebrating her 59th birthday

By Joachim Jacob

This evening, I've visited again Marina's grave at Ruhleben Cemetery, Berlin, Germany, to celebrate her 59th birthday. I was'nt there since December 24, 2010. On Christmas Eve, it was very could and I had to move a little bit of snow to show her placed picture and the two sculptures again. Unfortunately, I took no picture of this impressive scenario (maybe next winter). Today, I cleaned up the grave, planted pieces of meadow and moss, and decorated the grave with a single "wild" rose (liked by Marina trought the years of our relationship) together with a branch of white lilac, two branches of other white blossoms, and some pinewood torches. So I hope, that should be a good solution because I'm currently not able to take care of the grave every week.

After that, I decided to walk home on foot for first time. It took me two hours to reach my home near Berlin's Ku'damm. But it was a nice evening trip, thinking about Marina all the time. In the future, I will make this trip again every year and I will call it "Marina's memorial trip"...

At home again, while making this entry, on my desktop I placed some archived pictures of Marina and I lighted a candle.

Again, it was a visit to the past with a lot of tear drops. And let me tell you: Loosing a loved one so early because of deadly cancer is very, very hard...



Current view of the grave. Please note the white and pink rose on top of my latest flower arrangement. Meanwhile, there are three new graves further right since Marina's burial at the Buddhistic urnfield on July 30, 2010. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)






















Close-up shot. The merry guardian angel was added by me later last year just after the ground squirrel. Both sculptures sustained the hard winter very good. The watchful squirrel is securing her grave, and the angel is protecting her soul. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)














A shot more closer: The inscription on the card (in German language) is: Eine Rose zum Geburtstag. Marina wäre heute 59 Jahre alt geworden. In Liebe und Trauer, Dein Joachim. 29.04.2011. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)

Please note: This unique Warthog News blog is dedicated in honor of Marina Naumann, my latest female partner who died after incurable pancreas cancer on June 17, 2010, just only a half year after diagnosis. Marina was the second true wife in my life, and she always supported my long-year enthusiastic research work on the "Hog", especially since the beginning of operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. Rest in peace, Marina.



See:
In Memoriam: Marina Naumann


Like me, Marina was a big fan of The Who. Please enjoy:



Yeah! That's our generation...

A helpfull site:
Coping with Grief and Loss

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - My third visit on her grave

This late-afternoon, I removed all of the roded flowers and made a new arrangement which will be only provisional. I planted a fresh chinese lampion (Physalis), and then I placed some remaining plants from the older stuff. Care of Marinas grave will be my part for the next 20 years.



The new arrangement. The grey lantern is from Marinas balkony. The banners at right are from Marinas sister Sylvia and heir husband Mathias, and also from Dennis, son of Sylvia and Mathias, and from Nadine, Dennis' girlfriend. The pieces in front of Marinas picture are acorns, collected by me on the urne field during my second visit. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)



Big surprise: As I removed the urne flowers from the centre of the grave, on the sand I saw a very small lizard. And then, after realizing that, I saw another but very smaller lizard. Probably a mother with her babe. That's phantastic. Marina loved animals. And now, some rare animals are around of her grave, including some little frogs. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)

BTW: Rainy day in my eyes again by posting that.

Let me post an e-mail from Warthog News contributor André Jans from the Netherlands:

Hi Joachim,

I am saddened to read at your A-10 blog that you lost a dear friend recently.

Life can be very unfair at times and is not understood by us humans at all.

Take care of yourselves. I never meet Marina or you but wouldn't it be her wish that you move on with your life and enjoy living it?

Sounds kind of a cliché but many friends who passed away expressed this wish before they vanished.

[...]

Wishing all best and much strength!

André Jans

The Netherlands

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - the very last picture of her

That's the very last picture of Marina: Virginia ("Gini") Diercks (at left) and Marina (at right) on Marina's couch during a visit by Virginia and Fred in Marina's appartment in spring 2010. Marina is very happy, although she was not in her best make-up conditions. For our last wheelchair trips, she looked sometime better. But their eyes were the same, with at least a little bit of hope to survive some more weeks.

Together with Gini and Fred, Marina and I, we spent four holidays at Alanya, Turkey. Mostly playing "Schnauzer" cards on the evenings. And: We had a huge lot of fun.

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - My second visit on her grave

Today, I made my second visit to Marinas grave on the Budhistic Grave Yard at Ruhleben Cemetery, Berlin, Germany.



Together, we smoke one more cigarette. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)





Nearly all of the flowers are roted. (Photos by Joachim Jacob)



Thanks to the latest rare rainy days, this mushroom springed up between the flowers. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)

Also today, I made on more new experience for a lifetime: As I sat down in front of Marinas grave, two groups of Asians joined the urne field to place fresh flowers on the graves of their loved-ones. They stayed in front of the graves and folded their hands. After that, they folded their hands again in front of the white Buddha. And then, they walked around to place at least one Weihrauchstäbchen on each grave, including Marinas grave.

After smoking another cigarette with Marina, I walked around. One the first tree stump, I found a little frog. Later, on a second tree stump, I found a second, third, fourth, fifht and sixth little frog. Welcome to all animals around Marinas grave, including the ants.

BTW: In the next couple of days, I will talk with the Friedhofsverwaltung what I can do with Marinas grave.

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - More condolences from Warthog Territory Forums

As I realized this evening, there are some more condolences in the Hog Chat on Warthog Territory Forums:

Coach wrote:

I'm not a big fan of JJ, but he is a huge fan of the Hog and those who fly and maintain her. I noticed on his site tonight that it appears he has lost someone very dear, possibly his wife. Just thought it would nice to say we are sorry for his loss...

http://warthognews.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-memoriam-marina-naumann-part-two.html

jackb wrote:

Bummer. JJ, if you're reading this, you have my sympathies...

Weasel_80-204 wrote:

Google Translate says she was his ex-girlfriend.

My condolences JJ.

Dutchy wrote:

Also mine condoleance to you JJ, if you read this.

Although I was banned from the WTF, please let me thank you for your kind condolences, guys.

I'm still in the year of mourning. But since Marinas funeral last Friday, I'm now in a little bit "better" condition. It was the final piece of a long "movie" which will remain in my head forever.

Source



The day after: On Saturday, I returned to Marinas grave and placed four grave lights. During my first visit on the cemetery, and sitting in front of her grave, I dropped a huge lot of tears and talked to her. And "together" we smoked one more cigarette. Visible between my legs are two of our four mascots: 'Junior' (a mouse with a pilot licence, created by me during my best days with Marina some years ago) and 'Bieberchen' (just a beaver). (Photo by Joachim Jacob)



The second cigarette is burned out. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)



All of the flowers. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)



The Buddhistic urnfield at Ruhleben Cemetery with Marinas grave far at right. (Photo by Joachim Jacob)

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann - Rest in Peace

By Joachim Jacob

Especially to all of my friends who are supporting Warthog News: The remains of Marina were buried today on an anonyme Buddhistic urnfield at Ruhleben Cemetery, Berlin, Germany.



General arrangement. (Photo by Dirk Jacob)



Some private artefacts, draped by me. (Photo by Dirk Jacob)



On the grave: Just one more cigarette for Marina. Only minutes after taking this picture, and after another howling attack by me, I returned back to the grave and smoked another cigarette for with my loved-one. (Photo by Dirk Jacob)



On the grave: Marinas cigarette is burned out. By the way: The wild white roses at right are from me. (Photo by Dirk Jacob)

Note: Marina was a great fan of Mike & The Mechanics. And here's her most favourite song:



Note: This post will be further updated.

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann (Part Two)

My loved-one just again. Best known shot of Marina, taken 1990. She was a pretty woman... Just look in their blue eyes...

By Joachim Jacob

Especially to all of my friends who are supporting Warthog News: The remains of Marina will be buried now on an anonyme Buddhistic urnfield at Ruhleben Cemetery, Berlin, Germany, Friday, June 30, 2010. For the funeral, two days ago I selected the following individual music (Dropping off all standard organ music):

Intro:

Mike + The Mechanics - All I Need Is A Miracle '96 (Promo Clip 1996). BTW: As I meet Marina for first time 13 years ago, this CD was one of her favorites.




Burial speech transcript, provided by me to the speaker (in German language only)

Wir trauern heute um Marina Naumann aus Berlin. Sie starb am 17. Juni an den Folgen einer unheilbaren Krebserkrankung. Die Ärzte hatten ihr bestenfalls noch ein paar Wochen bis zwei, drei Monate gegeben. Wohl keiner hätte geglaubt, dass daraus ein halbes Jahr werden sollte – zwar mit sich abwechselnden Höhen und Tiefen, aber immerhin noch ein bisschen länger in dieser unserer Welt.

Marina, die am 29. April noch ihren 58. Geburtstag erleben durfte, schien sich erstaunlich gefasst in ihr Schicksal zu fügen. Nur selten klagte sie über Ängste, Albträume, ihre plötzliche Hilflosigkeit und das Warten auf den Tod.

Niemand wird je erfahren, was während dieser schweren Zeit wirklich in ihrem Kopf vorging, was sie innerlich durchmachen musste.

Zeitlebens war Marina eine starke, selbstbewusste und äußerst attraktive Frau. Ihren Job machte sie perfekt, sowohl als Arztsekretärin in verschiedenen Praxen wie auch zuletzt als medizinische Schreibkraft am PC-Heimarbeitsplatz.

Selbst in den letzten Monaten ihres Daseins war Marina unglaublich tapfer und voller Lebensmut. Sie lachte oft, machte Späßchen, zeigte aber auch Galgenhumor.

Als ein dem Tod geweihter Tumor-Patient erwies sie sich immer wieder als Stehaufmännchen, über das zudem ein besonders guter Schutzengel gewacht haben muss.

Marinas lang gehegter Wunsch, einen treuen Hund als vierbeinigen Freund zu haben, ging zwar nicht mehr in Erfüllung. Dafür aber ihr letzter Wille: Zu Hause in vertrauter Umgebung weiterleben zu können und dort auch zu sterben – nicht aber in einem Hospiz.

Ermöglicht haben ihr das fürsorgliche Menschen. Vor allem der ehemalige Lebensgefährte und sie immer noch liebende einzige Freund, Joachim Jacob. In ungezählten Stunden war er nahezu täglich als private Pflegeperson und engster Vertrauter für sie da – stets darauf aus, ihr so viel wie möglich an Lebensqualität zu bieten. Dazu zählten erlebnisreiche Rollstuhlausflüge wie in den Zoo und in den Tierpark, aber auch das Zubereiten gemeinsamer Mahlzeiten oder einfach nur das Zusammensein, um einander zuzuhören und miteinander zu reden.

Einfühlsam und engagiert waren auch die sympathische Home Care Ärztin Frau Dr. Sybille Radtke sowie das Personal des ambulanten palliativen Pflegedienstes der Sozialstation Friedenau.

In Marinas persönlichem Nachlass fand sich eine handschriftliche Notiz mit folgendem Wortlaut: "Die Lehren des Buddhismus anzuwenden bedeutet, einen Kampf zwischen den negativen und positiven Kräften im eigenen Geist zu führen."

Diesen Kampf muss sie bis zuletzt geführt haben.


Farewell:

The Rose - final song of the movie sound track "The Rose", featuring Bette Middler.



This song was wrote by Amanda McBroom.

On her website, Amanda wrote:


HOW "THE ROSE" CAME TO BE

People often ask me what inspired me to write The Rose. Here is the story:

I was driving down the freeway one afternoon, some time in 1977-something.

I was listening to the radio. A song came on the radio. It was "MAGDALENA" by Danny O'Keefe, sung by Leo Sayer. I liked it immediately. My favorite line was "Your love is like a razor. My heart is just a scar."I thought,"Ooh, I love that lyric."

As I continued to drive down the road the thought came, I don't agree with the sentiment. I don't think love is like a razor. (I was younger then.) What, then, do I think love is? Suddenly, it was as if someone had opened a window in the top of my head. Words came pouring in. I had to keep reciting them to myself as I drove faster and faster towards home, so I wouldn't forget them. I screeched into my drive way, ran into the house, past various bewildered dogs and cats and husbands, and sat down at the piano. Ten minutes later, THE ROSE was there.

I called my husband, George, into the room and played it for him, as I always did with my new songs. He listened, and quietly said to me, "You've just written a standard." I protested that no one but my pals would ever hear it. (This is long before I had ever recorded anything.) He said,"Mark my words, something is going to happen with this song."

A year or so later, a great young songwriter named Michele Brourman, who became my primary musical collaborator and best friend, said "Listen. There is this movie coming out called "The Rose". They are looking for a title tune. Do you want me to submit this to them?" I had never really tried to submit this song to anyone. I didn't consider myself a song writer at the time. So I said, "Sure." Originally the film had been called THE PEARL, which was Janis Joplin's nick name. But her family refused permission to use that name. Lucky for me. "Pearl" is MUCH harder to rhyme.

She submitted the tune to the producers, who HATED it. They thought it was dull and a hymn and NOT rock and roll and totally wrong. They put it in the reject box. But the divine Paul Rothchild, who was the music supervisor on the film, and had been Janis Joplin's producer, hauled it out and asked them to reconsider. They again said no. So he mailed it to Bette. She liked it, and that's how it got into the film and changed my life forever.

I have never written another song as quickly. I like to think I was the window that happened to be open when those thoughts needed to come through. I am eternally grateful... to Bette... to Paul Rothchild... to Bill Kerby, who wrote the screenplay...to my friend who first submitted it for me... and to the Universe for speaking to me in the first place and for showing me what I truly believe.


*Here are the lyrics:

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

* To obtain permission for reprinting any of the lyrics to THE ROSE or for their use in any publications or recordings, Contact Warner Chappell at www.warnerchappell.com

Source

Best song to say farewell to Marina.

See also:
In Memoriam: Marina Naumann

BTW: So I hope, this burial will be very good. But there are tears on my eyes still everyday.

In Memoriam: Marina Naumann

Today, I dedicated my Warthog News blog in memoriam to Marina Naumann from Berlin, Germany. For about twelve years, Marina was my longtime companion, and then she was my best girlfriend. Unfortunately, on June 17, 2010, Marina (just 58 years old) died because of pancreas cancer. Every day during her last six months on this planet, she got my care and attention. God bless you, Marina. I LOVE YOU.

Marina was a very strong woman. And also, she was a very sexy woman. On our first date, I told her: "I'm positive surprised". And in German language: Es war Liebe auf den ersten Blick.



Framed passport picture of Marina from 1998.



Instead a copy of the official death certificate, Marinas very symphatic female Home Care doctor wrote this kind notice about the cause of Marinas death - exclusively for my memories.



Best known shot of Marina, taken 1990. She was a pretty woman... Just look in their blue eyes...



Marina (right) at work, September 2001. She's wearing black leather jeans, black leather vest, black T-Shirt, and a little green Buddha on her necklace. WOW!!!That was my loved girlfriend.



Marina at work, September 2001.

Special thanks to my son Dirk for scanning all of these photos.

Please note: Sitting in her wheelchair, Marina got some nice experiences, all organized by me. Together, we visited the Zoologischen Garten, the Berliner Tierpark, the Havel and the Wannsee, the Greenwich-Promenade in Alt-Tegel, and two times the Regierungsviertel alongside the Spreeufer, and then through the Brandenburger Tor along Unter den Linden up to Alexanderplatz.

Highlights of all of that: Vieving the African rhino babe in the Zoologischen Garten and also the Armour rhino babe in the Tierpark. And, for first time ever: A swimming Tiger in the Berliner Tirpark.

Unfortunately, the last winter was very long with snow and ice. And then, the spring was also very bad.



Very last authentic screen shot of Marinas PC as she worked from home 2009. Visible are two African Erdhörnchen Xerinae. This picture was selected from the Web by Marina, who loved animals... Special thanks to computer specialist Mr. Tröbs from Germany for taking this unique personal screen shot before final removing of her practice-owned PC after Marinas death.

Please note: This screen shot is very important to me for remembering. Let me safe it to the memories.

By the way: A memorial Blogger site for Marina (in German language only) will be online soon.

Condolences

Warthog News contributor James O'Rear, United States, via e-mail:

Joachim,

Please accept my most humble condolences on the loss of your dear Marina. I hope you will be able to be a peace when the time is right.

Your friend,

James O'Rear
Sahuarita, AZ

Joe "Dice-man" Hodges, United States, in a comment:

JJ, I'm so sorry for your lost...remember the good times with her.

Warthog News contributor John Bezosky Jr., United States, via Facebook:

Joachim,

I am very sorry to hear of your friend's passing. I am sure I speak for many others as well as myself when I say that my thoughts are with you during this time.

J. Bezosky
Tucson, AZ

Warthog News contributor Roel Reijne, Netherlands, via e-mail:

My sincere condolences for the loss of your dear friend Marina....

Roel Reijne